OLD POST ALERT! This is an older post and although you might find some useful tips, any technical or publishing information is likely to be out of date. Please click on Start Here on the menu bar above to find links to my most useful articles, videos and podcast. Thanks and happy writing! – Joanna Penn
You can't write that.
You can't think that.
You can't imagine those things.
You don't have permission to be that person, to think like that, to write like that, to publish that.
You're a nice girl. What will people think of you?
That's my inner critic speaking, but I've also heard those words echoed from people close to me over the years. I think it's only been in the last six months that I have given myself permission to let the raw side of me loose on the page. I'm finally finding my voice.
It's scary as hell because it turns out my stories are dark and twisty, but it's also empowering and liberating to let my mind have a free rein.
But I have to keep reminding myself that I have permission to write. Or I would stay safe in the shallows.
A friend told me the other day that I've changed since I became a full time writer. But I think it's just that the inner me is finally making it to the surface after years of suppression and doing what I was supposed to do.
And how has this change in me come about?
I've been writing journals for 20 years but blogging here for nearly 5 years has changed me far more. Because clicking the Publish button has made me think more deeply about what I want to say.
Because these words are going into the world, and people may well read them.
Because I have met writers who have challenged me to go deeper.
Those of you who have been reading this blog for a long time have witnessed the change as I've shared the journey with all its ups and downs.
Clicking the Publish button on Amazon or the other distributors has the same effect. It makes us braver over time, because we have to keep bringing our best to the page and we get almost instant feedback from readers.
This is the beauty of self publishing, because we don't need permission anymore.
If I hadn't self published Pentecost four years ago, or clicked Publish on this blog, I would still be a miserable IT consultant, talking about writing but not doing it.
If I hadn't persisted through three novels, I would not be finding my voice in the fourth.
If I had asked permission, or if I had waited to be picked, I would still be dreaming of what might have been.
Of course, permission to write and self-publish doesn't mean you'll get it right the first time.
It doesn't guarantee Hugh Howey or Amanda Hocking type success.
But it shifts you inside, it forces you to go further creatively. It enables you to clear the way for the next step, and after all, the writer's life is a journey of discovery, not a destination.
So you have permission. You are empowered.
To write.
To publish.
To connect with readers and writers all over the globe.
I'm done with taming the crazy. I'm giving myself permission. How about you?
Please do leave a comment below if this resonates with you. This is our community, and I sincerely thank you for sharing it with me.
This post was inspired by an article on agent Rachelle Gardner's blog entitled ‘Will My Publisher Let Me Self-Publish Too?” which sparked a lot of passionate comment and offended me over the aspect of permission. Rachelle has since published a Mea Culpa article.
Top image: Stamp permission granted from Big Stock Photo
Joanna, when I sat down to write my novel Cosette’s Tribe, I told myself to write it raw and real or not write it at all. There were times when I wanted to dress my little Cosette up in buttons and bows, but I didn’t because it wouldn’t have been honest. I wrote it raw and it turned out to be quite a gift to myself and to my readers.
Our “voice” as writers should be honest. Without honesty we have nothing of lasting value to say. I do want to say that I have been coming here and reading your words for some time now and it has been your honesty that has drawn me in. This is a great post, Joanna. I’m so excited for you!
Thanks Leah, honesty is so important to me – and I’m glad you embrace the raw in your writing as well.
I’ve been giving a fair amount of though lately to what it means to be a mature creative with full permission, writer or otherwise. Not mature as in old, but mature as in adult. I regularly meet men and women in their mid-20s who posses an ageless sense of artistic adult mission. I also know people in their 60s and 70s who have it too. Does it come from practicing the craft, ancestral voices from afar, the nine muses, or just pure luck of the draw. I don’t know.
Spoken word poets have this sense, so too do young musicians, digital artists, and photojournalists, to name a few. Take the young photojournalist Rémi Ochlik, 28, who was killed in Syria in February 2012. He was so devoted to his calling as a photojournalist, permission to lift the camera never crossed his mind. I visited his grave in Pere-Lachaise Cemetery last November. The afternoon was partly cloudy and cool His grave was quiet.
Is it up to us to grant ourselves permission? Perhaps it is. Or perhaps the permission to have the courage to “lift our cameras or our pens” comes from a more mysterious place, somewhere beyond us, a place that always grants permission to those willing to face the fire.
James Nachtwey, 66, possibly the world’s greatest war photographer, sums up artistic mission very well in his 2007 TED Prize talk. The strong conflict images are tough to look at, but well worth the time if you’re wondering what it means to give yourself permission to “lift your camera or your pen.” Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGKZhNK_pHw.
Thank you James. Permission is just one step, but bravery can take it much further. I love your phrase ‘mature creative’ because right now I feel like an adolescent, but I see that in my future.
I needed to read this. To know that even the most successful and accomplished have these restrictive thoughts at times… and the urge to beat them out with an oversized tennis racquet. I will put all my worries about what my book should look like and I will simply write, write, write.
I worry a lot about what people think of me, not just of my writing. I wrote a short story a while ago which was published in a local magazine. My in-laws asked for a copy. Although nervous that they might think it was rubbish (and so me too) I gave them a copy. The copy was also read by their neighbour who reported back saying she hadn’t expected such a racy story from a quiet girl like me. I wasn’t expecting that. The story was so tame it was ridiculous, a man stealing a glance down a lady’s blouse.
I guess whatever you do there’ll be someone who doesn’t like it or takes it the wrong way. As long as you’re true to you that’s the main thing. And that’s what I’m working on, drowning out the external voices.
(This is my first comment ever on writing. I must be feeling particularly brave today.)
Thank you Rachel – and I can definitely relate. I hate my in-laws reading my books. I’d rather no one I actually knew read my books in a way, but that’s why we all need more writer friends, because we can support each other through creativity and the negative comments that inevitably come. Our brains are crazy sometimes – but that doesn’t mean we are like that in ‘real life’.
As Laura Drake said above (Hi, Laura!) we have always had this power, whether we publish traditionally or no. In fact one of the most powerful options a writer has IS to say “no.” No I won’t change the POV of my main character, no I won’t sign a contract that limits my future creative options, no I won’t lock myself into three books a year (or seven or ten) when I know the quality of my prose and story will suffer. But the truth is, in the face of rejection and fear and eagerness to be heard, we often don’t make the smartest choices for our writing careers. So the key is to recognize where we have strayed from our personal writing truth and to jump back on our personal path; we often have to self-correct. Much of this business has “self-” as a prefix. Self-editing, self-censoring, self-confidence, self-promotion, and, for most, self-publishing. And that can be tough because we only have our “selves” to consult and to blame when we don’t get the result we were hoping for. As for publishing v. self-publishing, whether you are signed with one of the big 5 or 6, or you post your stories on Amazon KDP, most authors today blog and comment and participate on one or more social networks. And that, my writer friends, is a form of self-publishing. So the writing landscape HAS changed. And I completely agree with Joanna’s point that publishing changes you. It changes how you think of yourself as a writer, it changes how you talk about your writing, and it changes how you write, if not what you write. But, to me, issues of permission and validation are sort of beyond the point. I write the stories and articles that come to me and that interest me. I write them because I can’t NOT write (I’ve tried, not pretty, maybe I’ll write about THAT someday). The publishing part, well, that’s the part where my stuff gets read. And if readers react with emotion to my published writing, well then, I’ve done my job, I think.
I needed to read this. I just submitted an assignment for my creative writing course with the Open University. The story I wrote is, well…odd. A little twisted. I like the story, but as soon as I hit the ‘submit’ button, I had regrets. Thanks for this; I feel a lot better about it. I don’t want to have to censor myself or write something more tame just to meet expectations, even those of a tutor.
Definitely don’t tame yourself Michelle – I want to see more women writing twisted-ness! I’ve found the criticism of Lionel Shriver’s books gender-biased. She points out that people think she is weird because she’s a woman, whereas a male writer would be called eccentric and get away with it. Expectations be damned!
Joanna,
This post really resonates with me. It gives me that push to become the writer that I have been dreaming of forever. I am very inspired to take action for myself. This is my time to get my blog going full time and publish my 4 books.
Thanks for th e encouragement
Joanna, thank you so much for this post. I have just completed my first manuscript and sent it out to publishers (but am also considering the self publishing route.) Giving myself permission to write in the first place took a long time. I still hear my inner critic asking, ‘Who do you think you are to write this?’ Something happened in my life and I think the lessons I learned from it will help others, so I reply with another question, ‘Who am I not to write it?’ That’s what keeps me pushing to get my book out there.
I love your blog, keep up the good work. Christine
I am at the start of my self publishing journey and about to publish my (90k word) first novel in a month. I am enjoying discovering the friendly community that exists and have learnt much from Creative Penn, Joel Friedlander etc.
As a long term reader, experienced businessman and new writer living in rural Wales then it seems that the Professional UK industry has a big problem with perception. My perception is that publishers and agents are staffed with Tarquins and Petronellas living in London and I have no connection with them. Perhaps there are also a few barrow boy agents in red braces and striped shirts saying sell, sell, sell. But again is that for the likes of me. Without going into Welsh Politics, the regional, highly subsidised industry is all based in Cardiff and again has no relation to my needs or my future work. (I have asked). Of course this is all unfairly stereotyped and does a disservice to the commercial industry. But hey I’m a writer.
That leaves me on my own and I have to scrabble around to have the discipline to write and polish up my work and set my own deadlines. Then soon to market and promote my books to potential readers. I am looking forward to setting out on the adventure.
Whatever I do is within my control and I love that aspect of this Brave New World. I’m having fun and I feel alive using my creative imagination. We are in an exciting new phase of publishing technology and I am about to drop my own pebble in the pond and see where the ripples go.
I give myself permission to drop that pebble!
Joanna,
Quite obviously, it does resonate with a lot of folks, any your blog post as well as your comment to the agent’s original post are both right on target. I tend to lurk rather than comment frequently, but please know that I (and I suspect many other lurkers) value your insights and deeply appreciate your efforts on behalf of indie writers.
Keep up the good work!
Warmest regards,
Bob
Thanks Bob, and I love it when the lurkers comment! But I lurk most of the time on other blogs so I understand. I feel a great sense of solidarity on this topic though – a time to speak rather than a time to stay silent
Make that “and your blog post,” not “any your blog post.”
After giving lip service to the idea that, dang it, I’m just going to do it myself…I’m finally doing it this year. Instead of waiting breathlessly for emails from my agent or for a nod the publishers that yes–they were FINALLY ready to publish my fiction, I’m finally getting off the pot. Does it feel liberating? Not right now. Right now I’m frightened and a bit overwhelmed with all that goes into this endeavor. That said, I’m excited and the more I hear from people like you that have done this and found success, the more I know that I’m doing the right thing.
Frightened is OK – we all feel that. It’s the tolerance for the fear that matters 🙂
Excellent post.
I have spoken to dozens of people who say things to me such as…”I wish I could write” or “I’ve always wanted to write a book, but…”
I always say the same thing…”Don’t wish it – do it.”
Now I have something new to say to them…
“You have permission!”
I will share this post and hopefully somebody out there will give themself permission to finally chase their dream.
Good for you, Joanna!!!
Hi Joanna,
I’d like to turn this around from the dark side (do or don’t I need permission to write?) to the bright side (in the modern publishing world, I can write about anything I want…mostly.) (I add the qualification only because people working in security–government or otherwise–often sign NDAs that inhibit their freedom of expression. If you like, someone pays those people NOT to write about certain things!)
After more than 1000 rejections from agents and a few agents who sat on a MS for months and then came back with, “Sorry, on second thought, just not for me,” I was ready to throw in the towel. I discovered POD, then ebooks, and now have eleven books released with another due this month. I’m struggling to find readership, but I’m in control, not dependent on agents, editors, or publishers from the traditional publishing business. I live free…and I’m enjoying every minute of it!
r/Steve
Thank you, Joanna. I love your blog because you’re honest, transparent, and generous about sharing what you’ve learned in your journey to help others.
Our family went through a very difficult time 3 years ago and I came out on the other side that more comfortable being my true self (vs. my “expected” self).
As a writer, though, I sometimes still let myself fall victim to those influences you describe. But I’m grateful to people like you and James Scott Bell, who not only teach, but encourage us to be brave, dig deep, and keep going. I’m comfortable that I’ve found my nonfiction voice, but am still looking for my fiction voice. Perhaps by absorbing your good advice, I’ll find it more quickly than I would have otherwise!
Thanks Diane and I love James Scott Bell too – he will be coming on the podcast in August so watch this space for his wisdom!
Thanks for this, Joanna. I’m still at the beginning of giving myself permission to self-publish instead of waiting (and waiting and waiting). When I first came out and began to tell other writer friends that I was seriously considering self publishing, several of them said, “Oh no! Don’t do that. Your novel is too good to go without the backing of an agent and publishing house.” I think that if my novel is that good, it shouldn’t have to hide in the shadows until one of those folks decides to cast a glance in my direction. Still, I have to consciously give myself permission each step of the way. Posts like this one of yours definitely help.
Good piece and quite right. I see the ability to self publish a huge filip to the world of literature. And if you have to write, just do it. My first play in 1992 was an adaptation of Shakespeare’s Henry V, my last piece the script for the London Literary Pub Crawl. Nobody ever gave me permission. In fact the opposite. But I did it anyway and it’s taken me round the world.
Yes, Joanna. I’m still learning to find my voice and my courage when writing fiction. I still have to beat my inner critic into submission on a regular basis. Thanks for the reminder to be bold and “raw”. And thanks for sharing so much of what you’ve learned along the way on this blog!
If I hadn’t self published Pentecost four years ago, or clicked Publish on this blog, I would still be a miserable IT consultant, talking about writing but not doing it.
Should print this up and put it above my desk! 🙂
I’d also like to credit books by Steven Pressfield and Seth Godin for kicking my ass and getting me to Do The Work!
But yes, please put it about your desk, and if you’re an IT consultant and not loving it, please make that plan to get out 🙂 It’s so worth it.
For IT Consultant read Web Designer and I do love it but I would much prefer to be a full-time writer. Have dug the first tunnel, just need to build on that! 🙂
First steps is to write (finish) novel number two which involves writing something every day and then you are at least making real, tangible progress. You can go back and edit the hell out of it later but you’ve got to get something to edit first.
Joanna, this post really resonates with me. I have a few stories with completed rough (and I do mean rough) drafts. I have been blogging, creatively writing, to find my voice, which gets hard at work when I have to mimic my bosses’ for proposals. Without judgement on my part, how do you feel about publishing your works before finding your voice? Do you think you will regret it or do you think it’s such an integral part of your journey that you think it was necessary? This is the issue I struggle with. So many story ideas, different genres, different audiences. I think I’m starting to grasp which ones hold me closest, but I think I have to wait until I find my voice before I’m engaged enough to edit the story to be something of quality.
Hi Heather,
Personally, I think I needed to write the books I have already written in order to find the voice I am now discovering – but we all change over time and voice isn’t fixed. I am 38 and highly doubt my ‘voice’ will be the same in 20 years time, perhaps even 5 years time. Certainly I didn’t have a clue 5 years ago when I wrote my first book “How to Enjoy Your Job” with the same voice as all my business documents!
In 2012, I rewrote that first book as “Career Change” and the voice is different even if 80% of the content is the same. I wrote Pentecost, then Prophecy, then Exodus and during the edits of Exodus I did a rewrite of Pentecost because my writing has changed. There’s no issue with that!
But I really think that if I had waited I wouldn’t be this far along. But it is definitely a personal decision.
Thanks for your honest answer. I think you’re very brave, and I will get to my brave point sooner than later too.